


Just Know You're Not Alone

by LibraryMage



Series: Break Your Chains [17]
Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Autistic Character, Autistic Ezra Bridger, Father-Son Relationship, Found Family, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-26 04:01:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13227660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LibraryMage/pseuds/LibraryMage
Summary: Ezra returns to Lothal to learn the truth about his parents.(AU rewrite of "Legacy")





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> warning for: references to child abuse; references to death; canonical character death (Ezra's parents)

The tension that filled the _Phantom_ was strong enough it could’ve powered the small ship.  Ezra kicked his heels, his feet just swinging above the floor.  They’d left the fleet behind to face the Empire on Garel, and Ezra couldn’t stop himself from thinking that he should tell Kanan to go back.  Part of him wondered if that was just an excuse to avoid returning to Lothal.  Weighing on him even more than his guilt was his fear.  Just hours ago, he’d been desperate to return to his home planet, certain that he’d find…something.  His parents, maybe, or someone who knew what had really happened to them.  But now, he was paralyzed with fear of what he might find.

“Ezra.”  Kanan’s voice jolted him out of his thoughts.  “Do you know what exactly you’re expecting to find?”

Ezra shook his head.  Facing away from him, Kanan couldn’t seen Ezra, but he knew Kanan could sense his response.

“Kanan,” Ezra said, his voice quiet.  “Thank you.  For everything.  You’ve helped me so much, and if it wasn’t for you, I’d still be with Maul and I’d still be -- I’d still be being…abused.”  He forced the final word out, knowing he needed to say it, no matter how hard it was.

“You’re just…always there for me,” he said.

“I was just a couple years younger than you when I lost my master,” Kanan said.  “I was alone then, and regardless of how this turns out, I didn’t want you to be.”

“I’m not,” Ezra said.  “I know whatever happens, I’m not alone anymore.”

Silence fell between them, Ezra’s fear filling the ship, humming through the air like an electric charge.

“Ezra,” Kanan said, turning to face his padawan, who kept staring down at the floor, determined not to look at him, “whatever you’re afraid of, it might help to talk about it.”

Ezra scuffed his toes along the floor and shrugged.

“You don’t have to,” Kanan said.

“I’ve spent this whole time thinking my parents were dead,” Ezra said, his voice hollow as he stared blankly into the space in front of his eyes.  “And what if they’re not?  What if…” he stopped for a moment, his fear freezing the words in his throat.

“I turned my back on everything they stood for,” he said.  “Everything they taught me.”

“Ezra, you were just a kid,” Kanan said.  “You were alone and scared and you didn’t have a choice.”

“Yes, I did,” Ezra said.  “Joining Maul was my decision.  I chose the Dark Side.  I chose to hurt people.”

“You know Maul better than I do,” Kanan said.  “Do you really think he would have let you say no?”

Ezra didn’t say anything.  He knew what Kanan _thought_ the answer was, and he knew Kanan was probably right, but there was some small part of him that clung to the idea that Maul would have just let him go if he’d refused.  But in the end, what did it matter?  He’d still gone with Maul willingly.

“They’d hate what I’ve become,” Ezra said.  “Doesn’t matter why I did it.”

“You did what you had to do to survive,” Kanan said.  “Sometimes that’s all you can do.  And now, look what you’re doing.  You’re fighting for the rebellion, trying to free the galaxy, just like they were.”

He leaned across the space between them and put a hand on Ezra’s shoulder.

“Your parents would be proud of you, Ezra,” he said.  “And so am I.”


	2. Chapter 2

Ezra sat on the edge of the cliff, his head resting on his knees.  His eyes were still stinging, even though he’d long since stopped crying.  He’d lived for nine years with the absolute certainty that his parents were dead.  Being told he was right shouldn’t hurt so much, but he felt just like he had the day they’d been arrested, like the ground had collapsed from beneath his feet.

_Ezra._

Ezra slammed his hands over his ears at the sound of the familiar voice.  Mom’s voice.

“You’re not here,” he muttered.  “You can’t be.”

 _We’re always with you, Ezra._   That was his father’s voice.  He sounded so real.  He _felt_ so real.

Slowly, Ezra looked up.  They were there, standing beside him.  His mother rested a hand on his shoulder as she smiled down at him.  Ezra quickly looked down again, fresh tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” his father said.

“Yes, I do,” Ezra said.  “You don’t know.”

Ryder had told him that even in prison, his parents had fought for other people.  They’d been trapped, powerless, with no one left to fight for them or care what happened to them, and they’d still tried to help others.  Ezra hadn’t been powerless, and there had been at least one person who cared if he lived or died, and he’d still made all the wrong decisions.  He’d failed them.  He’d taken everything they’d taught him and thrown it away in the name of avenging them.

“We know that we love you,” his mother said.  “And we are so proud of you.”

“Ezra?”  Kanan’s voice echoed like he was standing at the end of a long tunnel, calling to Ezra.

Ezra looked back to see Kanan behind him.  His parents were gone.

“It’ll be morning soon,” Kanan said.

“I saw them, Kanan,” Ezra said.  “I saw my parents.  They were right here, talking to me.”

Kanan walked over and sat down beside him, putting his arm around Ezra.  Ezra leaned his head against Kanan’s shoulder.

“The Jedi taught us that life doesn’t end at death,” Kanan told him, his voice gentle, like he was afraid Ezra would shatter at any moment.  “Your parents are alive inside you, Ezra.  They always will be.”

“They said --” Ezra stumbled over the words.  “They said they were proud of me.”

“Told you they would be,” Kanan said.

Ezra didn’t say anything.  What would be the point in telling Kanan he didn’t think his parents _should_ be proud of him?  Kanan would insist he was wrong.  And maybe Kanan was even right, but Ezra hurt too much to care.

“I’m so sorry it turned out this way, Ezra,” Kanan said.  “I know this hurts, but you are not alone in this.”

“I know,” Ezra said.

Ezra felt Kanan’s arm tighten around his shoulders and leaned into his embrace.  Together, they sat in silence on the ridge, watching as the sun began to rise over Lothal.


End file.
